Talking

I recently saw a quote and illustration on a Kleenex box (of all places) that I thought was hilarious and probably more true than anyone would like to admit.  The illustration was fine but it was the quote that got my attention.

"I hear what you are saying, but I'm thinking about myself." 

Okay, I confess--I am guilty of that at times.

I'm sure if everyone was really honest they could remember some--maybe many--occasions in which this has happened.

It reminds me of an incident that occurred while I was director of a preschool.  One morning a teacher came to my office during her break to tell me this absolutely precious story that happened earlier that morning during circle time with her class of three year olds.

I think the unit for the week was "Dinosaurs," and this superb teacher would have been presenting it in a totally awesome way as usual.  After talking awhile about dinosaurs and getting the children interested by showing pictures and books, she noticed a little princess of a three year old with her hand waving fiercely in the air.

The teacher sweetly called on her, thinking the child was anxiously wanting to tell something she knew about dinosaurs or that she had a new cat or something equally important, but then to the teacher's great amusement, the little girl said with much exasperation, "Can we talk about me now?"

There you go. That says it all, right?  It's funny and true.  I think maybe the three year old child in all of us has experienced that desire from  time to time.  Then there are those adults who haven't grown past that stage.   They keep the conversation centered on them.  Some do it to the extent to make this following quote true:

We would rather speak ill of ourselves than not talk about ourselves at all.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld  

Those people are tiresome.  But there are those people that you don't ever get tired of listening to.   Some people, such as my brilliant husband for one,  are wonderful conversationalists.  The husband can talk about anything with facts, history, and humor, so it is great fun to be a listener to a person like that. 

But it is equally important and takes great skill to be a good listener.  I've known both great conversationalists as well as great listeners.  But I am now wondering how many people are excellent at both?  Hmmm.  Good question.  (Husband, are you reading this?  If so, then you are that person!  kiss kiss)

We have all listened to great speakers.  These are the speakers who keep you waiting for the next word or sentence.  Listening to my brother-in-law is like that.  He is enthralling.  I never want to miss a word in any of his sermons or his conversations. 

Brother-in-law is the exception.  Many times listening can be hard.  Have you ever "listened" to say--directions to some place (especially if someone else is also listening), the "specials" on the menu, or someone's latest "problem du jour" and afterwards realized that you had no idea what was just said.  Or you just catch some of what was said?  I hate when that happens.

I also hate when you are with someone who doesn't ever start a conversation.  I've come to realize how important that is.  In fact, I think I would rather have someone with me that talked all the time than one who never started a conversation. 

I had an occasion with a non-starter recently.  It was just the two of us and once I could start the conversation, it was fine.  Lots of interesting information came out.  Then a long pause...Think, think, think...what else can I ask?  I didn't dare think about me (too much) during the conversation with that person because I was trying to listen to know what else I could ask.  Whew!  Let me just say, it is much easier to "talk about me!"  

But come to think of it, who TALKS anymore anyway.  Talking and listening may go the way of the hand-written letter.  In fact, why talk when you can just text; why listen when you can just read.  So go ahead and put that phone that you keep in your hand to good use and just text me.  Then we both can text about ourselves!

Oh, wait--who texts first; do you have to put a smiley face in the text or respond with a K or respond at all?  Do you abbreviate everything?  Do you correct spelling?  Do you include others in your message?  Do you wait to text until the sun comes up?  Do you LOL.  Gee--Forget it--Just call me.  I'll be glad to listen to you talk about yourself (while I think about myself!)



ADBB4N

                                                       

--in case you don't text much and would not ever know what that meant unless you googled it like I just did, it says, "All done.  Bye Bye for Now."  I think all I would have figured out is the 4!