One Man's Living and Dying and Things in Between

Recently, a very best friend of mine asked me to help him write his obituary.  No, he is not about to die anymore than any of us are, but of course I said I would whenever he wanted me to.

Although this is not the obit he was referring to, his request got me thinking about living and dying and things in between.  So I decided to write these thoughts about him now and in doing so, I am reminded of what Jackie said in the movie, “Waking Ned Devine” about his friend Michael:

“Michael O'Sullivan was my great friend. But I don't ever remember telling him that. The words that are spoken at a funeral are spoken too late for the man who is dead. What a wonderful thing it would be to visit your own funeral. To sit at the front and hear what was said, maybe say a few things yourself. Michael and I grew old together. But at times, when we laughed, we grew young. If he was here now, if he could hear what I say, I'd congratulate him on being a great man, and thank him for being a friend.”

So here, my friend, Chuck Kelly, are my words and thoughts I want you to hear from me about you while you are alive:

When my friend dies, I will miss him like crazy.  He is intelligent, fun, and witty.  He is not handy or mechanically minded at all, but he is a most successful man.  He strove for excellence in his work and achieved it.  In the height of his career, most people around town knew him or recognized his face.

I first knew of him and recognized him from TV.  He was the news anchor on Channel 11.  Eventually, I got to know him personally from attending the same church as he did and was even in the same Sunday School class as he and his wife were.

We became fast friends as couples and socialized together as well as traveled together.  There was never a dull moment.  He told jokes, repeated jokes, and got laughs every time.  Rarely was he without a story, a joke, or a comment to entertain or inform us.

This man could write and he could make speeches.  He was a communicator.  Although he always claimed he was going to write a book, he has yet to get to that.  This is about the only thing he hasn't gotten around to doing.  Had he, it would have been good.

Professionally, he was a successful anchorman for many years.  Then, when he was ready to face another challenge, he accepted a position at AP&L, later called Entergy.  Soon he became a vice president there.  In both fields he was able to go many places and meet many people creating lots of material for a great book.

He worked hard throughout his career, but he found time to play as well.  He has always loved to spend his time watching basketball and football especially when his beloved LSU teams play as well as when the U of A plays.  At one point he was the kind of fan that would travel to games and tournaments whenever he could and hated to miss a game due to work.  He still hates to miss a game but now he is usually perched in front of the TV yelling at or cheering his team on. 

His interest in sports was not limited to watching football and basketball.  Somewhere along the way, he became obsessed with duck hunting and later fly-fishing.   When he took up duck hunting, he hunted every chance he could, getting up before dawn on the coldest of days to sit in the woods and wait for the ducks to fly over.  Only duck hunters absolutely get this insanity.  

When he became interested in fly-fishing, he was 100% committed to that as well.  He even became quite good at tying his own flies--a tedious job to say the least.  To indulge his love of fishing, they bought a house on the White River so he could have ample time and a convenient place to fish.  

Family and friends are an important part of his life.  He has been married for over 54 years and has two children.  Being a great host with his great hostess wife, their house is always open for friends to gather and eat, drink, and be merry.  For years, their Christmas Open House has been a must-do for old and new friends.  It is an anticipated event and has became a tradition.

Several years after retirement, he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.  Once again, he has taken this challenge on as determinedly as any of his other challenges.  Being one who will only take an aspirin--at the most--and only if dreadfully sick, he has fought this ailment without medications for years by exercising and eating right. 

When he sets his head to achieve something, he achieves it.  This applies to his disease as well.  He has put 110% effort in working out and it has paid off.  His Parkinson’s has been slow in progressing but not surprisingly, it has progressed.

I have never heard him complain or become bitter about this unwanted condition and we have had many deep discussions from illnesses to solving the world’s problems to reminiscing about the fun times we have had which indeed make us grow "young again."  He is such a good listener and fun conversationalist.  No wonder he has been successful in so many areas of his life.

One couldn’t reflect on this man without acknowledging his wonderful voice and his head of hair which has become white through the years giving him a very distinguished look.  His voice isn't the singing kind of a great voice but the talking, narrating, speech-making kind.  It could be booming or gentle--either way it was significant. 

Although both hair and voice changed over the years because of the disease and the curse of getting older, it is a distinctive part of him as much as his habit of flicking his finger between his nose and mouth while concentrating or reading--or his color-blindness and inability to color coordinate his clothes to his wife's suiting.

Anyone who knows him quickly develops a respected relationship with him and would have plenty of their own stories to share from the interactions they have with him.

The special friendship between us--and as a matter of fact, between the four of us--will always stand out in our memories--the dinners together, Trivia Pursuit games, the beach trips, the tennis matches,  the miniature golf outings, the sleepovers at the river house, the New Orleans house, the Texas house, and even sharing a room in a quaint hotel in Northern California can't be forgotten...ever.  We, like many others who know him, consider ourselves lucky.

I can only add, as Jackie did in his farewell to Michael, "Congratulations on being a great man, and thank you for being a friend" who I love and who I will miss terribly when you are gone.